


Am I The Trigger To Your Gun?

by RahRaZorBlade



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Boyfriends, Insecure Jim, Insecurity, M/M, Multi, OOC, Out of Character, Panic, Polyamory, Self-Doubt, T'hy'la, Worry, fearvof leaving, my first star trek fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 09:12:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8007493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RahRaZorBlade/pseuds/RahRaZorBlade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim starts zoning out while on the bridge. He doesn't want to touch his Vulcan boyfriend, knowing he'll find out what's wrong with the captain. Jim/Bones/Spock</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I The Trigger To Your Gun?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Star Trek fic. Sorry that it's OOC.
> 
> (Title: I'd Rather Die Than Be Famous - Pierce The Veil)

He tried to avoid Spock's touches. 

It's not that he hated his boyfriend. It was just...Jim felt anxious, exhausted, emotionally drained. He felt like crying eighty-nine percent of the time. 

And if Jim let Spock touch him, the Vulcan would feel that too. All the self-loathing and insecurity. 

"Are you okay, Captain?" 

Spock's voice snapped Jim out of his daze. He looked around the bridge, noticing everyone's concerned looks. 

He cleared his throat.  
"I'm-I'm sorry, Mister Spock. What was that?" 

McCoy rolled his eyes.  
"How are you feeling, Jim? Are you feeling dazed or confused?" The Doctor asked, studying his boyfriend's eyes for anything abnormal. 

Jim shifted his eyes away.  
"Ah, no. I'm quite alright." 

"You were unresponsive for two point six minutes, Captain. I think you should go to sickbay or get some rest." 

Jim shook his head.  
"No, sorry. I'm-I'll pay attention." 

Everyone was still staring at him. He gulped and felt panic grip his chest. 

He shifted his eyes to look at Bones. 

Bones frowned.  
"Jim? What's wrong?" The Doctor asked, sensing his boyfriend's panic. 

"Everyone back to your duties." Spock spoke sternly, looking to the crew scattered around the bridge.

Jim bit his lip, the panic was becoming unbearable. He stood abruptly from his chair, pushing past McCoy. 

"Jim! What's wrong-where are going?!" 

Spock followed his boyfriends. Following as McCoy had a firm grip on Jim's upper arm. Leading them all to sickbay. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Jim sobbed quietly. 

The Doctor bit the inside of his cheek, wondering what was wrong with the Captain. 

Spock raised an eyebrow. Denying he felt any sort of worry. 

"C'mon, Darlin'." Bones said as he tried to lay Jim down on the bed. 

"No! I'm fine! Bones-" Jim cried, ignoring the tears running down his cheeks. 

Spock stepped forward, ready to run his finger's through the Captain's hair. 

"No! Don't touch me!" Jim panicked. 

Spock pulled back like he was burnt. 

While Bones gaped with a frown. Why wouldn't Jim want to be touched? 

"I'm sorry, Captain." The Vulcan said, ready to leave the room. 

"Wait! I'm sorry!" Jim yelled, grabbing Spock's hand.

The Vulcan gasped as he was flooded with panic and anxiety. 

"Jim..." Was all he said. 

"Don't. Don't leave me." Jim said, letting go of his boyfriend's hand. 

"Spock? Jim?" Bones said quietly, looking between them both. 

"May I ask why you're feeling panicked?" The first commander asked, resting his hand on top of Jim's. 

The Captain turned his head to look at the wall. 

"It was just a matter of time. I mean, I was the last one to join the relationship, so of course one day you'd want to be together again, just the two of you." 

"No, Jim. That's not what we want." Spock said. 

Bones shook his head.  
"Are you an idiot?! Of course we want you, Jim. How can you think we don't?" 

Jim shrugged.  
"You'll leave me eventually. Everyone always does. I'm-I'm not meant to be happy." He whispered the last part. 

"Don't say that. You know we love you, Darlin'." Leonard said, stepping closer to the bed and kissing his Captain on the forehead. 

"T'hy'la." Was all Spock said.

Jim gave a watery chuckle.  
"I'm sorry. I just-" He sighed, not knowing what else to say. 

"We get it, Captain. You're scared to be alone."

Jim nodded.  
Okay, so maybe his boyfriend's did understand. 

"Now, go back to our quarters and get some rest. Spock will take the comm." Bones demanded. 

Jim nodded. He knows better than to argue with the Doctor.


End file.
